Ego Management

Ego Management-A practical tool to handle the ego conflicts in the organization

Pathik Variya & Janki Desai, Lecturers, Center for Management Studies, Dharmsinh Desai University, Nadiad

[A] Introduction

"Ego", a word, which we all are aware of, and a word, which has lots of importance in what, we ultimately are.

We have to a tool to handle ego and we want to give it a name ...how about Ego Management? Looks good...Let's call it EM in short for practical purpose.

Ego creates a lot of hurdles in our day to day professional as well as personal life. It reaches everywhere before we reach! A lot has been written about and a lot has been said, discussed, debated upon it too. It is not at all a new area to discuss further. But, I think, if we become conscious, we can definitely avoid its negative pitfalls.


[B] Definition

"EM is all about handling your ego and others' ego. If you can handle an ego-conflict such a way that the outcome is WIN-WIN, you have mastered the art of it!".

This tool is to be exercised at the personal level. Here, it is assumed that if you change, the world will also change for you. If you are good to the world outside, the world outside will be good to you. You will get back whatever you give to the world. It also follows the rule of GIGO [Garbage in Garbage Out].




[C] Tips for implementing Ego Management



Time and again, we keep listening people about their ego having been hurt and in our life too, we feel the same way many times.

1. Always respect the ego of others:

The point to remember is that all of us have ego. So, always respect the ego of others. For this, the art of empathy needs to be learnt and exercised. Once again, it is too difficult to learn in a few days, but if efforts are made, you can always develop it. For that, you need to develop the holistic view of the world and people around. A narrow view will hinder your thinking process. To have a holistic view, you need to collect some information about the people and situation around, not for playing politics, but for ensuring you know everything happening around. Once you have good amount information with you, you can always make the assumption on the information that may be lacking in your mind’s database. Some points to remember in this regard:
· Let others speak. Listen to their views and allow them to influence yours. A moment of silence once they've finished is worth a hundred interruptions while they're still talking.
· Be generous. As the saying goes: 'If you catch too many fish, the best place to store them is in another person's stomach.' If colleagues feel they've gained from your achievements they will love you all the more
· Try modesty. You may be feeling good about what you have achieved but you don't have to tell everyone how great you are.
· Treat people equally. Whether you are the boss, the client or the expert in the field, recognise that others have as much to contribute, just in different ways.
· Be impartial. When someone asks for personal advice, put your own agenda to one side and base your recommendations on what you think is really in their best interest.
· Spread your thanks liberally. Make a noise about the contributions your colleagues have made. Name them, and be specific about what they did so well. The appreciation will come back to you - perhaps when you really need it.
· Adapt to criticism. It doesn't have to be wholeheartedly accepted, but enough to show that you are willing to change.
· Fall down. All successful leaders show they are fallible. Allow yourself to make mistakes; these are the vitamins of learning and a powerful indicator of lasting leadership.
· Draw your confidence from elsewhere. Don't let your identity be based entirely on how well you're doing at work. Self-esteem gains its strength from all parts of life.

2. Kill Ego:

Next thing is your mental process should always try to REMOVE EGO rather than REDUCING IT. I know, saying it is very easy and practicing it is very difficult. But spirituality, meditation of counseling can help you in that.
Ego is basically like a spring. If you control it too much, it will always bounce back and will harm. The best way to deal with ego is to treat it as an illness and simply kill it...Of course, the self-respect should always be there and hair-line difference between the self-respect and ego should never be forgotten.

2.1 Change the definition of Success:


Another way to kill ego is to look ahead, compare yourself with the people who are far more successful than you. Of course, it does not mean you start comparing yourself with Gates, Gandhi, Amitabh ! But, you can compare yourself with the people who are "highly successful" in their areas or "highly successful" as per your own definition of success. Success may mean money to some, power to some, respect to some, authority to some and mental peace to some and so on.In short, your cognitive process must get learning on how to implement EM. EM is the output of the information processing of your mind. And processing shall only depend on the sensory inputs. So, always try to get positive inputs.

2.2 Stop comparing yourself to others:

One more thing to kill ego is to stop comparing yourself to others. God has created all of us and all of us are unique. When He does not compare us, why should we do that? One should always try to compare one's self with one's self only. Try to create your own standards. Try to beat your own self and achieve new heights. But as soon as the external comparison comes, the great EGO will jump and your EM will get disturbed. Of course, this point is not contradicting the point 2.1 of this article as well. But it simply means that avoid narrow comparisons.

3. Be Creative: Creativity has no limits. Actually, the old proverb, “The necessity is the mother of all inventions” is equally applicable here. You can tryout the things like Gandhigiri-the ahinsa [non-violence] way too.

4. Find the root of ego: Like a tree, our ego has some roots. For example, a successful person, if not humble, will be the one who will develop ego easily. To digest success is one of the toughest tasks of this world. For that, always see the real outcome of any process rather than the process itself. For example, one does not get xyz facilities in a business meeting, but the MOU or contact, which is to be signed after meeting is profitable to the company, then in that case, the root¸ of the ego-the unavailability of some facilities can easily be ignored.
As a manager, how do you know if your ego is out of control?
Just pay close attention to a number of critical factors. I guarantee that if you are aware of your circumstances, honest with your self-appraisal, and in touch with reality, it will become crystal clear whether your ego is in control or is running rampant in your organization or department. Some of these factors are: · consistently poor morale· constant communication breakdowns· bad hiring decisions· consistently poor decisions· acquisitions or mergers that go sour· high employee turnover· consistently poor quality· outdated policies, products, services, and/or procedures· loss of market share· vulnerability to competitors· poor sales results· decreasing profits from year to year· the negative consequences of your decisionsCarefully observe early warning signs for these factors and determine their cause and any relationship between them and your ego, and then respond to them and manage them ego-free and effectively before they become embedded in your corporate culture, employee attitudes, and customer attitudes. You could ask yourself: 1. Can I ever be wrong?2. Can an employee be smarter than I am?3. Do I trust my employees?4. Can I reverse myself after a bad decision or do I die by it?5. Can I give up control?6. Do I have pet projects or activities that I can’t let go of?7. Can I freely give credit where someone else was responsible for the positive outcome?8. Can I discard old products, services, or ideas that I was responsible for?9. Can I share the limelight with others?10. Do I give adequate appreciation and recognition to others?11. Can I admit failure?12. Can I admit to not having an answer?13. Do I procrastinate on simple or important tasks, decisions, or initiatives?These questions should get you started. Honest answers will help you clearly identify if your ego is a problem in your position.

5. Communicate, communicate, communicate…but to your own-self!: As we all are aware, whenever the term communication is talked of, it requires minimum two people. But, how can we forget that it is equally necessary to talk to our self too. We may have mastered the art of communicating with others, but most of us still lack the art of talking to one’s own self. Do it often. Tell yourself that you are nothing or you have done nothing. Try to be spiritual. Spirituality has great power. It can definitely help you dilute your ego. For example, if you can develop a strong belief that you are simply doing what god has decided for you to do [the theory of karma in short], you will relieved many times. Tell yourself often.

6. Avoid being workaholic/ Avoid the self-image of being workaholic for yourself: When you start to realize in your mind that you are working too much or you are working more compared to others, the ego may start to build automatically. Work more, but never let a feeling come into your mind that you are working too much.

7. Channelize your energies on the right side-in diverse ways: The outcome of a hurt ego is generally “anger”-a short term madness. One way to stop the negative effect of that anger is to channelise the same in some creative manner. For example, if you are doing excellent in your job and do not get the desired promotion or recognition, start paying attention to your family more or start giving time to your hobby more. Simply diversify your anger’s energy into positive tasks and you will be feeling much better-self satisfied.

8. A small case-incident: Based on one of the friends’ experience, I will re-narrate the whole case with hypothetical names.
Ramesh Aparanath, a young MBA from an average B-School, got a job in an advertising firm. He had got one year’s experience in corporate communication prior to joining the firm. Ramesh’s immediate boss, Dr. Ajay Sagar, was also the CEO of the company i.e. that company was a small one and it was on an initial stage. Ramesh started out the job with great enthusiasm. He was basically flamboyant as a student too. He came out with creative ideas all the time. He used to devote 12 to 16 hrs for his job, which officially demanded only 8 hrs. He also handled the clients well as he was having a handy experience of the corporate communication prior to joining the job.
After a year in that job, Ramesh started to feel the cognitive dissonance. He started feeling that something was going wrong. Being very ambitious, he asked for promotions/raise in salary all the times. He hoped to get extra facilities like laptop from the company. The company took care of that guy good enough. But the grievances of Ramesh started increasing all the times. His main problem was: his friends in selling were earning far more than him. He was enjoying the job but had little job satisfaction due to these grievances. His commitment level also started decreasing too. Dr. Ajay Sagar was observing all this very carefully. But, he wanted Ajay to finish a few more months before increasing his salary. He wanted Ajay “to earn” the promotion rather than giving it as a gift.
Ramesh, on the other hand, was getting furious day by day. He thought that his boss was not valuing him. He even started feeling suffocated too much. Due to his negative perception of his boss, or due to his ego, he misunderstood the behaviour of Dr. Sagar and left the job all out of blue on one day…..
Today, he is an assistant to the director of a company. He has to do all the routine jobs and there is no creativity involved compared to his previous job. He still believes that had his ego management been good at the time of leaving the previous job, he would have been totally a different guy altogether.


9. A basic conceptual model of EM:

Identify the root of Ego
Kill the ego with the spirituality or a creative tool of your own!
Develop a holistic view of the world and people around
Take remedial actions like communicating to yourself, stop comparing yourself to others etc.

References:

1 http://www.managementtoday.co.uk/, accessed on February 23, 2007
2.http://ezinearticles.com/?cat=Business:Sales-Management, accessed on February 23, 2007